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New post on my blog. About my days in last weeks. 
It hasn't been easy and it hasn't been fun. But it's over for now and I am back to normal life with a smile on my face :)

#fiordland #newzealand #mountains #fog #coulds #naturephotography #darkness #anxiety #hellodarknessmyoldfriend #iamnotyourfriend Totally in love with nature 😍
#naturephotography #nature #sand #color #newzealand #splitapplerock Roys Peak. Wanaka. New Zealand.
For this view I climbed 4,5 hours. It was a hell. After 1st hour, I stopped, in pain, with bad blisters, out of breathe, out of motivation. #nojosedlotoneni 
I can't walk in my shoes on anymore, I realized, and decided to go back. I didn't want to fight. I suck in it. 
So I opened my backpack, took out my snack, started to eat and feel very upset. 
I texted my @tacianek and she told me, that I shouldn't bully myself. She was right. I kept sitting there in thoughts and told myself, that I can at least try. I don't have to go all the way up, if I won't feel like it. I can always go back. 
I started heading to the top. Barefoot. Suddenly if wasn't too hard to walk. 
There were plenty of moments when I thought I can't walk anymore... then I asked myself: "Ok, can you make 20 more steps?" "Well, 20 steps? Yeah, I can make 20 steps." So I did. And again, again, again... and I made it to the top. 
Did the fact, that I made it to the top, make me feel any different? No. But the journey did. #it'sallaboutthejourneynotthedestination
#wanaka #royspeak #newzealand #journey One more post on my blog :) Read about the wonderful Steampunk HQ exhibition in Oamaru on my blog. New post about my first days in NZ ❤

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Kia Ora, guys!

Have you missed me? Bet you have! 😀

It’s been more than one month since my last post an here is why… after I dropped my travel mate off in Queenstown (we were traveling together for a while and he was the best buddy ever), I felt lost. Again. That moment, when you suddenly become alone and you are not really sure what to do, where to go, or if you even want to do anything at all. There were several days when I couldn’t leave my car. I felt so anxious, didn’t see anything positive about being in New Zealand, and was getting more and more upset. I was sick of living in my car, driving from place to place, looking for a spot to overnight every day… but I couldn’t really come up with better plan or way to go.

When I arrived in Wanaka, I actually felt pretty good. I was looking forward to this place, had nice ideas what to do there… until I skydived the 5th of Feb. I was really excited because skydiving was something I always wanted to do, so I booked, paid and was ready to go. But… this day, I woke up in an absolutely terrible mood. The day, when you go like: “Oooh, fuck, this is gonna be bad.” So it was. I am scared of heights and I didn’t get the adrenaline kick to enjoy the jump, so it wasn’t a pleasant experience at all. I was frightened and unhappy with the tandem instructor I was jumping with. For few days after that, there was a complete mess in my brain. Anyway, at that time I knew I was gonna meet my friend again and I have to admit, that it gave me a lot of energy to keep going and smiling.

By the end of February, I arrived in Wellington and decided to stay here over the winter, find a job, nice place to stay, live kinda normal life for few months 🙂 The day I arrived here, I had my CVs ready and started chasing some jobs.

At the moment I have a really nice place to live and I am still working on the job. But I am getting there 🙂 It’s great to have some home, place, where you can always hide and feel secure. Things are much better, I am meeting new people, making friends and I am fine 🙂

I am about to get settled in few days, have some fixed schedule and then I will write you about the gorgeous places I’ve been to.

Thank you Sigga, Táňa, and Théo for helping me to not drown in all that shit. ❤



4 comments on “What’s been going on…

  1. Sadah says:

    Well written.


  2. Táňa says:

    You the best. ❤


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